janellish's Xanga

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 18:20:16 GMT

if i am lost for a day
come and find me
but if i don't come back
then i won't look behind me
all of the things
that i thought were so easy
just got harder and harder each day

december is the darkest
and june is the light
but this empty bedroom
won't make anything right
while out on the landing
a friend i forgot to send home
who waits up for me all through the night

calendar girl who's in love with the world
stay alive

i dreamed i was dying
as i so often do
and when i awoke
i was sure it was true
i ran to the window
threw my head to the sky
and said whoever is up there
please don't let me die
but i can't live forever
i can't always breathe
one day i'll be sand
on a beach by a sea

the pages keep turning
i'll mark off each day with a cross
and i'll laugh about all that we've lost

Friday, January 27, 2006

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 00:25:12 GMT

A SUNDAY MORNING AFTER A SATURDAY NIGHT
She's so happy, this girl,
she's sending out sparks like a brush fire,
so lit with life
her eyes could beam airplanes through fog,
so warm with his loving
we could blacken our toast
on her forehead.

The phone rings
and she whispers to it
"I love you."
The cord uncoils
and leaps to tell him
she said it,
the receiver melts in her hand
as if done by Dali,
the whole room crackles

and we at the breakfast table
smile
but at safe distance
having learned by living
that love so without insulation
can immolate more than the toast.
- LoVerne Brown

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 04:06:11 GMT

Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 06:46:28 GMT

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
that college thing, set a long-term goal, had several existential crises

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
don't make those. i have actually made a resolution but it just happens to be at this time... plus it is more of a short-term goal (i am suddenly becoming good at these things!)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nah

4. Did anyone close to you die?
nah

5. What countries did you visit?
mexico

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
wider social connections (they seem to come in useful)

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
hmmm... probably the dates of the Great Earlham Roadtrip with my dad

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
gaining confidence in myself as an independent adult (awww)

9. What was your biggest failure?
i can't really think of any. maybe being too uptight when i first got to earlham? but that went away with time, and didn't cause any permanent damage. no real failures.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
necrotizing fasciitis

11. What was the best thing you bought?
an AWESOME hat! it is brown and has stripes and is apparently popular with little old jewish men

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
mine plus some other people. alex. akshat. beka. j-po. john.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
stoooopid holly.

14. Where did most of your money go?
lobillz

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
no more high school - ever! hellooooo college! also RAing at simon's rock

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
save a horse - RIDE A COWBOY! lots of various others too, but that one is fairly jolly and i am in a delirious mood
(i just typed "delicious mood". those words are only a letter apart! the possibility for a hilarious misstep is imminent)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?: WAY WAY HAPPIER
b) thinner or fatter?: softer... prolly same distance around
c) richer or poorer?: the truly rich man desires nothing

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
going out on friday nights, particularly during the first half of the year

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
being a hermit, taking high school too seriously

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
con mi familia

20. How will you be spending New Years?
heh... i was in cali and i slept through it. new year's is prolly one of my least favourite holidays unless i have something cool to do.

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
nah

23. How many one-night stands?
i wonder if anyone has ever had a half-night stand? or a two-night stand? can it even be called that anymore? π-night stand?

24. What was your favorite TV program?
MYTHBUSTERS! also i like going tribal. i watched more tv over the past five days than i did the whole rest of the year. yay hotels.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope

26. What was the best book you read?
CLASS: a guide through the american status system. also food court druids, cherohonkee and other creatures unique to the republic.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
damn. i discovered i love beck, who i thought i hated. i also discovered that country can be appealing in the right dose. plus... oh man, sufjan stevens, tom lehrer, dressy bessy... too much good music.

28. What did you want and get?
much new reading material! also inspiration

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
crash, city of god

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
my actual bday was pretty craptastic and i'd rather forget it

32. What one thing that would have made your year?
my year has already been made!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
i actually became a lot more aware of clothes this year. i dress well. how's that?

34. What kept you sane?
i'm not really sure. lots of thinky. writing a lot helped in the first half.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
er... i will say gabriel garcía bernal for alex!

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
various business about class in general... let me focus my thoughts and i'll get back to you

37. Who did you miss?
a select few people at home + alex

38. Who was the best new person you met?
alex by far

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.
you have to do things your own damn way. forget how it is "supposed to be done" and you will lose a large part of what inhibits you from just doing what you gotta do.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
la cucuracha, la cucuracha
yo no puedo caminar
porque no tiene, porque la falta
marijuana que fumar

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 20:18:37 GMT

lazy sunday

more like lazy tuesday, really. also lazy monday and the five days before that. last week's tuesday wasn't lazy at all.

este mañana estuve estudiando el tiempo imperfecto. durante mi primir año de escuela secundaria, no estaba una estudiante seriosa de español. ahora tengo dedicación aprender hasta puedo hablar sin un diccionario bilingüe.

ayer cociné muchas galletas con mi padre. son deliciosas, pero estoy triste porque no puedo compartir con mis amigos de la residencia de Bundy. ¡pobrecitos! no tienen galletas de Janel.

ricky martin es un hombre extrordinario.

and i know i'm gonna steal her eye
she doesn't even know what's wrong
and i know i'm gonna make her die
take her where her soul belongs

my sun eyed girl
my sun eyed girl

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 22:49:05 GMT

see the vegetable man in the vegetable van with the horn that's honking like a mariachi band

¿qué onda guero?
¿adonde vayas?

peach cobbler + wavy hair + beck = for the win!

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 04:19:35 GMT

Friday, November 25, 2005

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 21:57:29 GMT

To what end is a language omelette useful?

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 20:12:12 GMT

Once upon a time, the tale goes, a man was sentenced to death by the king.

"Wait!" he cried. "If you delay my sentence by six months, I'll teach your horse to talk."

The king agreed.

Later that day, the man's wife asked him, "Why would you make such an offer? You can't possibly teach a horse how to talk."

"Well," he answered, "I figure a lot can happen in six months. There could be a revolution and a new king. Or the king could get sick and die. Or the king could change his mind. Or the horse could die. Or I could die. Or maybe the horse will talk."

Monday, November 14, 2005

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 23:15:38 GMT

Where are we?
What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just began to fall
Crop circles in the carpet
Sinking, feeling
Spin me around again
And rub my eyes
This can't be happening
When busy streets
A mess with people
Would stop to hold
Their heads heavy
Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines
All those years
They were here first
Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before
The takeover
The sweeping insensitivity of this still life
Hide and Seek

also: SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY!